tooies:

i think “take a hike” is like the funniest response to someone. like dude just get outta here. and go experience the wonder of nature for a bit

Hi I know my account/Tumblr is basically dead but I’m at the game and Kreider killed another goalie RIP

kevin-for-what-ails-ya:

extrafabulouscomics:

This is how one constructs a joke.

zinnia-apologist:

Actually, Ratatouille is the dish’s name, you’re thinking of Ratatouille’s monster.

Put a word inside my inbox

ozeia:

firstofallhowdareyou:

And I’ll tell you a fact about myself based off that word

holy shit do this

neptunain:

“GENTLEMEN, WE ARE AT WAR WITH TROY AND MUST NOT DROP OUR GUARD AT ALL”

“sir, the enemy gave us a giant wooden horse”

“oh rad bring it in”

judgejudyofficial:

Cop: Have you been drinking?

Me: I been drankin’

Cop: Surfbort

Me: Surfbort

theflatwoodsmonsterisalesbian:

I get why ppl are leaving tumblr but ive never deleted an account for anything in my life and if tumblr wants me to leave theyre going to have to kill me themselves